In 2022 I was diagnosed with breast cancer from a routine mammogram. I underwent treatment which consisted of three different surgeries including a bilateral mastectomy. In my current work I choose to paint my scars and unfamiliar body. I am exploring the depiction of my struggle to redefine my self image as attempts to reconstruct my breasts fail. The evolution in my work speaks to my own discovery of eventual peace without breasts, a flat closure.
This new body of work has drawn me to a more abstract approach to painting including the layering of collage materials and stitching directly on the canvas. Text based on comments by doctors and friends during my treatments are also significant to this work. Painting on top of overflowing and overlapping text expresses my grief and anger. Stitching directly on the canvas with yarn and thread reframes my sutures and scars through the lens of darning and mending, traditionally women’s work, transforming an object ripped and torn into a material stronger and more beautiful by the act of repair. In addition to these paintings I am exploring mixed media drawings based on multiple mammography films taken during my diagnosis.
Mixed Media on Canvas
24” x 36”
mixed media on black paper
22” x 30”
Graphite and Watercolor Pencil on Black Paper
22” x 30”
Mixed Media on Canvas
20” x 20”
Charcoal, Graphite, Oil Pastel on Canvas
20” x 20”
I live with my husband, my children, and my elderly parents. I am proud to be a nurturer and caregiver to both generations but also overwhelmed and afraid that I will facilitate their journey at the expense of my own. My paintings speak to the relentlessness of caregiving, the joy of caring for the vulnerable ones we love, but the exhaustion too. As I also age, I ask myself, how can I meet the needs of my parents with compassion and love without losing my own voice? Can I balance my desire to nurture those I love dearly with my desire for autonomy?
